On my way to Downtown Berkeley, I’m just chillin on the Bart train. My stop finally arrives and I’m recognizing the scenery and buildings are looking familiar. I realized I had walked these steps before with you. We had no idea what we were gonna do, but I felt as if we were ignoring everyone else just to enjoy our own company. We went to go get dinner, at restaurant you suggested. The chicken tikka masala was exquisite and sharing a plate with you was just as pleasing.
After dinner we took a long walk back to bart. Holding hands and having a nice conversation. Then you asked me, “Do you ever get bored of me?” In my mind I said to myself, is that a serious question, do I ever get bored of you? Every minute we spent together gave me so much happiness. It was unreal how ecstatic I was whenever I was around you. It was like that very first night, when you listened to my heart beat like crazy. I didn’t give a fuck about what we were doing or where we were going, as long as I was with you nothing else really mattered. I swear I was the happiest man on earth every time I was with you and I miss that feeling a lot.
When we got back home, I popped in that redbox DVD and we watched the opening credits of the movie, but that was it. It was another fabulous night, canoodling and having deep talks. The things you said to me were so convincing and very promising. I seriously took everything you said that night to the heart. But my question is, did you mean any of that? Ever since we stopped being friends, I’ve been questioning our whole relationship. Was it legit or were you just playin me? That is what has gotten me so stuck, I don’t really know how you felt about me and I feel as if everything was a lie.
I really do not know why I think about you everyday. Every moment I have to myself, you pop up. It’s not like anything we had was special or something. It was short and sweet and I don’t regret anything I said or did. I just wish that you felt the same why I did. I saw so much potential in our relationship, as if we were made for each other but I guess you didn’t feel the same way. You were just my kind of woman, so ideal in my eyes. I really can’t see what I did wrong. Maybe I just made it to easy or tried to hard. I find it really disappointing how we don’t talk to each other anymore. I remember you telling me that we’d always be friends, no matter what. Look at us now though, lovers turned to strangers, what type of shit is that.
You probably don’t give a fuck either but if you read one word of this don’t front. For a couple of months it was just mixed signals galore but I stayed with it. I didn’t stick with you cause I was desperate, insecure, or any of the malicious things you said. I was there because I saw a future and was willing to be fully committed. You made me happy for once in a long time and I tried to give you that same feeling. I don’t even know if you still think about me at all. I don’t really like putting feelings on tumblr but since you won’t speak to me I don’t know what else to do. You just got me wondering if any of that was legit. You just left me hangin. I wish you would just talk to me. Last time I saw you, I woke up to the sight of your pretty face. Looking so humble and innocent , it was something that I could get used do. I really don’t give a fuck if this makes me look weak or pathetic, I’m just tryna know wassup thats all and clear things up rather than leaving all these questions unanswered.
